you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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