That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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