Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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