I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
