I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
