over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
