living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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