I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
