i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
