Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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