this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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