drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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