i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
