The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If I die, sorry about rent.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
