I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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