But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
