And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
