I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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