you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize