Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
