I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
