it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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