i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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