Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
