fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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