he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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