I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I think my fart just growled at me.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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