I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
