its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
