Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
