He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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