I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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