Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Randomize
