it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
