That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
