the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
