Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
