I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
