Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
