Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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