We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
