i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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