I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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