Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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