omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just want to make out with him forever
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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