I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
