Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
