Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Boobs are out for the taking
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
