member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
