dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
