Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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