my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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