I wish i was in the wii world.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
