just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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