A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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