You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
