Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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