I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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